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Dracula’s Daughter (1936)

Synopsis
Countess Marya Zaleska (Gloria Holden, playing the titular character) comes to London to steal the body of her father. By destroying it, she hopes to rid herself of the curse of vampirism that has plagued her family – but she cannot help taking victims again. Edward Van Sloan returns as ‘Von’ Helsing.

Cary: Let's get one thing clear, right away. This is my least favorite of the bonus films.

Shawn: Easily mine too. Okay - first off... Why change Van to Von Helsing?

Cary: Theory 1: They didn't have "Find/Replace" and they were just fucking lazy. Theory 2: The "a" key stuck on the typewriter.

By the way, one of the Countess’ victims is indeed a male, though you are forgiven for not remembering that, because it is unmemorable. Hey Cary... "There's a few birds in London I'd like to shoot... and they haven't feathers either!"  Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.

Cary:  Yes, the dialogue was completely atrocious. I really don’t see anything about this movie where we’re going to disagree. I think we've spent more time on it than we probably should. The one thing you can't say, though, is that Gloria Holden isn't memorable in her role as the... whatever the fuck she was...

Shawn: Everyone is so fucking lame in this movie it hurts.

Son of Dracula (1943)

Synopsis
Lon Chaney Jr. stars as the Count (this time Count Alucard) who comes to Louisiana to claim local psychic Katherine (Louise Allbritton) as his latest bride. Her fiancé must defeat the Count in order to save her.

Cary:  Lon Chaney Jr. as Dracula may be one of the worst casting choices ever made. He comes across like someone from your uncle's bowling league in this role. No accent, the sex appeal of a walnut, and he's seducing a TOTAL FUCKING BABE!  Again, Louise Allbritton = Babe. I'm a complete sucker for the Bettie Page look!

Shawn: As the only Dracula that can be seen in a mirror, he’s twice the Chaney for the lovin'!

Cary: I did like the story being set in Louisiana, though. The change of scenery is interesting.

Shawn: Yeah, I think it was certainly entertaining. The transformation scenes are cute, and I do mean "cute" in that same way the annoying girl at the office says, "Those shoes are 'cute.'"

Cary: I went to see who was responsible for the story on this one and I was surprised. Curt Siodmak is credited. He wrote The Wolf Man, The Beast With Five Fingers, Earth vs. The Flying Saucers.

Shawn: The Invisible Man Returns.

Cary: The man has his share of hits. I love the last lines of this one though:

[Paraphrasing]   Man 1:  "You mean to tell me that skeleton is all that's left of Count Alucard?"

Man 2:  "It's got his ring with his family crest on it. The same crest that's on his luggage."

Goddamn it I love when that kind of CSI work is given the spotlight in these old flicks.

Shawn: Absolutely. "A-L-U-C-A... Hmmmmm!”  I'm surprised there wasn't a scene where they hold a mirror up to the nametag and yell out "Oh MY GOD!" while the score crescendos.

Cary: That would have been awesome!  I love how they tie up all the loose ends with a few lines of dialogue. The one guy is still wanted for murder but that's dismissed by one of the characters with, "I think we'll have a say in that."  Like two guys telling the local authorities, "It was a vampire named Alucard but he was really Dracula" is gonna work. Even in Louisiana that shit won't fly.

Shawn:      Man 1:  "So he was named Dracula... and he was a vampire?"
                   Man 2:  "Yes.”
                   Man 1:  "Bullshit."
                   Man 2:  "Uh.... he was black too. Don't worry - we killed him."
                   Man 1:  "Why didjnt ya say so!"

 THAT would fly in Louisiana! But all things considered, this is still the best of the "sequels."

Cary:  I beg to differ my friend. I'm a big, big fan of House of Dracula.

House of Dracula (1945)

Synopsis
Count Dracula comes to visit Dr. Edelman, a doctor who may have the cure for his vampirism. By a twist of fate, Lawrence Talbot (the Wolf Man) shows up for help also. Then, amazingly, they find out the Frankenstein monster is on the premises. Chaos ensues…

Cary: Honestly, this is one of my all-time favorites in the "Let's rip this sonofabitch apart MST3K-style" category. I love this movie. It is SO bad, it's good.

Shawn: I won't argue that point. I don't really see it as a sequel though. It's like the Destroy All Monsters finale of the Universal Horror Films. I love how Dracula's existence is completely unexplained - seeing as how the true Dracula... Lugosi... died in the original.

Cary: I know. He dies in every single one. Maybe they figured they didn't need to cover it this time since some jackhole probably pulled the stake out AGAIN. I remember the first time I saw this movie was on the Legacy set. I picked up the phone and called friends telling them to get over here to watch it. You've got Dracula, Wolf Man, Frankenstein’s Monster, a mad scientist/Dr. Jekyll character… shit, there's even a hunchbacked nurse!

Shawn: Universal’s motto must have simply been “Fuck continuity!” They should have plastered it to the studio gates. And speaking of the “Green Machine,” don't you think the Frankenstein Monster was sorely underused?

Cary: Absolutely. He's thrown in just to get him in the picture. The plot is just ludicrous, also. I love how things just happen and no one thinks twice about it. The Wolf Man comes around about the same time as when Dracula shows up. The Frankenstein monster just happens to be buried in the caves at the foot of the cliff below the castle.

Shawn: That same cave just happens to be the place where the Wolf Man's antidote can be incubated.

Cary: It's obvious that the plot was thought up in thirty minutes over a three-martini lunch.

Shawn: Yeah, and scribbled quickly down on the wet cocktail napkin. I think it's fascinating that the Jekyll/Hyde transformation of Dr. Edelman has absolutely no catalyst causing him to switch back and forth between the personalities. That's my favorite bit. Well, that and Chaney's father/son talk with him afterwards.

Lon Chaney Jr.:  "I know you killed that coach driver, doctor. But hey... I kill people too
and I'm not that bad a guy."

Cary: And goddamn are the actors phoning it in on this one. Lon Chaney Jr. is essentially playing himself. Having read your piece about the Browning film and how much you enjoyed watching Frye's take on Renfield, I can see how this would be your favorite part.

Shawn: I hadn't thought of that connection. It's certainly a valid comparison, but as you said - the movie fucking rocks because it has a hunchback nurse. I bet she'd be an easy lay too.

Cary:  The impediment makes missionary a problem, but really... I'm not a big fan of missionary. John Carradine as Dracula... not my favorite in the role by far.

Shawn: No, not at all. Lugosi still reigns in that department.

Cary: Still, overall, the one reason I bought all the Legacy sets was to have these films. I think there's no getting around how much sense it makes to pay an extra five to ten bucks and have these things at your fingertips.

Shawn: And in such sexy packaging at that!

Cary: No shit!  The packaging rocks.

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