I simply failed to see the humor in this alleged “comedy”. Not even the occasional shot of titties or a nice juicy booty
helped spark my interest any. Tom Hanks has officially reached the status of “has-been” in my book. The same with
Julia Roberts. No, wait, I can’t label Julia Roberts as a “has-been” as she never actually made it to a position of
importance in my book anyway… alas, the category of “never-was” is nearing its maximum capacity and I will
probably have to start a new book to accommodate people like Julia, her brother Eric, the Baldwin family, Chris
O’Donnell, Don “The Dragon” Wilson, and many other supposed “stars” that supported the Direct-To-Video Industry
of the 80s and 90s.
Perhaps this movie was released at the wrong time. Perhaps it will be dubbed as a classic in about twenty or fifty years
much like the Duck Soup was. Perhaps I should never compare The Marx Brothers to Charlie Wilson’s War ever
again (and I shouldn’t, I realize that). Perhaps I should stop using the word “perhaps” in this review… but I figure if
screenwriter Aaron Sorkin can have Julia Roberts say “If this were a real war… ” seventeen-thousand times in a single
monologue as a futile attempt to either amuse of rouse an emotion out of the brain-dead people that found this movie to
be entertaining, well then - perhaps I’ve earned the right to use the word “perhaps” once more.
Perhaps.
Anyway, the story here (loosely based on George Crile’s book) involves sleazy, boozing, womanizing Congressman
Charlie Wilson (Hanks), a small potatoes Texas representative; a manipulative, rogue CIA agent (Philip Seymour
Hoffman - in his finest Joe Don Baker impersonation to date!); and a Texan Conservative socialite (Roberts) with too
much time and money on her hands. Together, they provide the Afghanis with more weaponry so that they may fight
the Russkies during the Cold War of the 1980s - a bold and daring move that, in hindsight, probably wasn’t such a hot
idea (but hey, they made a name for themselves in the process, right?).
The (mostly) real-life characters depicted here are nothing short of despicable: they are alcoholics… they are drug
addicts (much like screenwriter Sorkin)… and they are in office wasting your money partying it up while supposedly
defending you in the process. Thank you democracy. Yes, America: Communism is evil and God is great. Good night
and good luck with that.
I don’t even want to talk about this wretched downer of a movie anymore… it’s depressing.
Presentation
Charlie Wilson’s War is brought to us in a nice-looking anamorphic transfer with Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround audio
available in English, Spanish and French. Subtitles in English, Spanish and French also accompany.
Extras
The Making of Charlie Wilson’s War (17:09) features interviews with cast and crew. It’s loaded with a lot of
Hollywood ass kissing and makes you cringe just as much as the feature film does. The next Featurette, Who Is
Charlie Wilson? (12:21) delves into the real-life man known as Good Time Charlie (whoop-de-shit). A couple of
Trailers precede the Main Menu, but frankly, I forgot what they were and don’t give a shit now.
The Bottom Line
There isn’t a single likable character in Charlie Wilson’s War… unless you’re an alcoholic, a big fan of cocaine, or
somehow affiliated with politics (and chances are that if you’re with the latter, you definitely fall into the first two).
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