The awkward and bizarre Jeff Goldblum plays the awkward and bizarre Seth Brundle, a scientist who has been working on a teleportation device, partly for the good of mankind, but mostly because of his fear of being carsick. At a science exhibit, Brundle hits it off with journalist Veronica Quaife (Geena Davis) with the awkward and bizarre line, “I am working on something that will change the world and human life as we know it. Want to come back to my lab?”

Ladies, let this be a lesson to you: If you write for a scientific magazine and a guy pulls out this line on you, you better run the hell away.

After a brief tryst consisting of teleporting a stocking from one end of Seth’s bedroom/laboratory to the other, Veronica rushes to her editor and ex-lover - the awkward and bizarrely named Stathis Borans (John Getz) - who dismisses her account of the event as a simple magic trick. But Seth manages to quell Veronica’s skepticism by suggesting that she document the development of the teleportation device, a tempting story that would culminate with Brundle teleporting himself as the machine’s first human subject. And really, how can anyone refuse the possibility of a good book deal?

At the outset, the biggest problem with the device is that it can only teleport inanimate objects. Though this in itself would still revolutionize the world, sometimes you just have to throw a baboon into the pod and see how it comes out. Unfortunately this experiment results in a giant pile of writhing offal and Seth has to start the whole process all over again. Baboons aren’t cheap, you know.

Faster than you can say “A baboon just exploded into a pile of living haggis inside my telepod,” Veronica and Seth consummate their relationship, which leads to quite a bit of strain on Stathis, who starts turning into a childish madman at the thought of his ex sleeping with bug-eyed Brundle – and that’s before Seth even gets into the telepod.

Seth finally manages to unlock the mystery of animate teleportation (ruining a perfectly good ribeye steak in the process) and teleports a baboon without it ending up looking like spaghetti dinner. But Veronica and Seth’s celebration is cut short when she receives a harassing letter from superjerk Stathis and has to run off to confront him, leaving Seth drunken, paranoid and rashly chucking his body into the telepod with reckless abandon. But unbeknownst to Seth, something horrible gets into the pod with him… Something terrifying… Something that will change his life forever… And that thing is…

Shit, I’m not going to ruin it for you.

After the teleportation, Seth feels fine. The event seems to have invested him with the ability to perform amazing gymnastics, but what about those coarse black hairs starting to grow out of his back? And the changes aren’t strictly physical. Seth begins to get a little messianic after his transformation and demands Veronica go through the machine as well, which she kindly refuses, sensing that something isn't quite right.

Veronica’s fears are confirmed as Seth’s body starts to mutate into something horrifying and she runs to Stathis for help, who, while a gigantic knob, at least isn’t trying to break her down into particles and shoot her across a room. Shock of all shocks, Stathis might be the most logical of the bunch when he suggests that she run away as quickly as possible. But emotions aren’t that simple. Especially when it’s revealed that Veronica is carrying the (possibly tainted) seed of Brundlefly in her belly.

The Fly is considered by many to be David Chronenberg’s most successful film and a turning point in his career. While the film features the director’s signature style of body horror, it also manages to project a level of humanity that many thought was lacking from his earlier work and arguably hasn’t been seen since. And hey – it has a linear narrative to boot!

While I might not agree with the opinion, it’s easy to see how some would believe his previous works were cold, emotionless philosophical ramblings from a man who just had to include a head explosion or three between meditations on technology’s influence on man (and vice versa). Personally, I find both philosophical and even emotional value in films like Videodrome. But then again, I write movie reviews and have no soul.

So here we have The Fly, which manages to hit damn near every single note perfectly. You have your science fiction teleportation angle, which doesn’t devolve into useless technobabble. You have your human drama, which although seemingly conventional rings true. You have your horror angle, with giant bug-eyed monsters spraying bodily fluid at an alarming rate. And in possibly the most important and correct decision, Cronenberg keeps Jeff Goldblum in the film even as his transformation nearly obscures the actor completely. By using the actor rather than a puppet or some other special effect, Cronnenberg insures that the Brundle character maintains a human presence and personality throughout his transformation. This just isn’t a fine horror flick; this is a fine movie, period.

…and that is exactly why I shouldn’t be the person reviewing this film. I wanted to review The Fly II so I could just goof on it for 1,500 words.

Image Quality
I’ve done about a dozen reviews now and it gets hard to describe a good transfer without feeling like I’ve been repeating myself, but what the hell: this is a perfectly stand-up transfer. Though there might be a white speck here and there from time to time, the transfer is fairly free from grain, has a sharp detail, and when the film calls for bright colors in the form of mooshy slimy things, goddamn it, it delivers those bright colors in the form of mooshy, slimy things.

Sound Quality
The DVD comes with a 5.1 Dolby Digital track that gets slightly upstaged by the marginally more defined 5.1 DTS track. Take the opening bombastic notes from Howard Shore’s score for example. The instruments seem clearer and exhibit broader separation on the DTS track. But the 5.1 Dolby track is no slouch. Both versions are detailed enough to showcase the little atmospheric touches found throughout the film’s soundscape. But don’t be an idiot like me: even if the FOX logo sounds hollow and quiet, don’t turn up the volume in frustration… because the opening titles of Shore’s score might blow you out of your chair.

Extras
I would like to mention to the people who created the anti-pirating promo that plays on nearly every single fucking disc I’ve seen in the past six months that I have stolen a purse before, thank you very much. This isn’t a hypothetical “what If I have stolen a purse?” question, I have literally taken somebody’s purse while they were not paying attention. Your propaganda has proven nothing to me.

The first disc only has a Commentary by David Cronenberg. Even if Fox just slapped the film and commentary onto a single disc and offered nothing else, I’d recommend the release. As usual, Cronenberg contributes a ridiculously detailed discussion of his work that never devolves into describing what’s happening onscreen or lapses into long periods of silence. Really, does this guy have a stack of notes? The man is intelligent, speaks softly and never bores.

On disc 2, we have a holy-shit-this-is-insane documentary Fear of the Flesh: The Making of The Fly, which runs 2 hours and 16 minutes, or if you choose the Enhanced Mode, 2 hours and 42 minutes. It might be easier to digest the documentary in its shorter running time, because if you click on enhanced mode, you’re given the ability to watch the branching clips separately.

Yes, the documentary covers everything you would ever want to know about the making of The Fly, and even manages to include additional cut footage that’s not presented in the deleted scenes section of the DVD. Thorough though it is, the documentary sometimes feels like it has a lot of filler. I mean, do we really have to see clip after clip from the film or the theatrical trailer when the disc has a separate section for trailers?

Though Cronenberg isn’t present on the documentary, almost everyone else is, from the crew and the actors to people involved with initial drafts and even a director associated with a previous draft of the film. Also, the documentary is presented with a fairly gimmicky 5.1 soundtrack. That said, the opening sound montage is quite awesome.

Also under the Documentaries section of the disc, we have The Brundle Museum of Natural History, which features Chris Walas’ tour on design concepts and props from Bob Burns’ private collection. While this documentary runs only 11 minutes and 50 seconds, it packs enough information to not come off as filler.

Under Deleted Scenes, we get the infamous “Monkey-Cat” scene, which was deleted for the reason of (I’m guessing) being too goofy. Really, it’s Jeff Goldblum fighting with a puppet. Also included is the “second interview” deleted scene which actually made its way into The Fly II, “Brundlefly Vs. Baglady,” presented in script form only, and the infamous alternate ending “Butterfly Baby” (the less said about that one the better). There are also extended scenes, which show off how slight edits can make a big difference - something I should have learned before writing this review.

Under Written Works we have the original short story by George Langelaan, Charles Pogue’s original screenplay, David Cronenberg’s rewrite and a few “Interactive Magazine Articles”. Why these weren’t included as a DVDROM extra baffles me, because the idea of sitting in front of a television flipping page after page isn’t very appealing.

The Film Tests section is just that: a collection of pre-production effects work, from the main titles sequence to pod lighting to exploding the space bug. Also included is David Cronenberg prancing around in a fly costume. I’m not kidding.

For the love of God, there’s even more stuff to get through – Promotional Materials features trailers and TV spots for not only The Fly, but also The Fly II and the original Fly and Return of The Fly. There’s also some vintage ’89 EPK material with a six-minute making-of that manages to pack in a few minutes of behind the scenes footage not already found in the documentary. If that wasn’t enough, there’s a David Cronenberg Profile, which offers more of the same.

Lastly there’s a Still Galleries section which breaks into four separate groups; “Publicity,” “Behind the Scenes,” “Concept Art” and “Effects.” You know what? My ass is numb, and everyone knows what these are, so let’s wrap this up.

The Bottom Line
Did FOX look at Criterion’s work on other David Chronenberg films and mutter something like, “Oh yeah? Take this, jerks!”? I’m going to assume that someone over at FOX was feeling a bit envious. What else could explain a disc so extensive that it feels like overkill? The Fly is one of the best sets I’ve ever seen.