I don’t know where the company Fortune 5 came from, but they’ve already surpassed several no-budget video distributors who somehow keep at least three people employed with shoddy transfers of public domain titles (i.e. Brentwood or Diamond Entertainment). This is pretty impressive, considering these jokers more than likely didn’t pay for the rights to the films used in this set!
It turns out, that if you take a video or film print of some films (the older and more obscure, the better), as long as said print is an alternate cut (read: cut or uncut) was obtain from an international source, it’s legal to distribute in any way, shape or form in the U.S. (so I’m told). But, whereas companies like Video Search of Miami is a mail-order service for people who understand what they’re buying and pay (in this day and market) a rather hefty price for it, Fortune 5 has taken another batch of films that (apparently) have no valid U.S. Copyrights and pressed them onto some cheap double-sided discs. They even have the most baffling legalese garble I’ve ever read on their packaging: from what I can tell, they all but dare you to buy this set and inform you it’s your fault should you decide you’ve been ripped-off and that the place you bought it from doesn’t have to take it back! Talk about ballsy!
So then, following their previous Grindhouse Experience release, Fortune 5 has unleashed volume 2 onto an unsuspecting public in an attempt to prove that you and your money are soon parted. Their first volume must’ve gone over remarkably well (how can you not turn a profit when you don’t spend any money in the first place?). The fact that they released the first set after the Rodriguez/Tarantino flop Grindhouse hit the big screens probably helped… you can bet that by slapping Tarantino’s name on the box stating that he recommended some of the films definitely helped (and I must give credit where credit is due!).
Anybody that actually comprehends and appreciates the Grindhouse genre will no doubt enjoy these films. The fact that Fortune 5 uses old Full Frame video prints (complete with washouts, defects and foreign subtitles in some cases) will detract from one’s enjoyment (most of the films are also edited down from their original running times which is an even bigger disappointment). If they at least bothered to acquire some distribution rights or, at the very least, bootlegged some better copies, Fortune 5 might do alright in the home video market. As a side note, I would like to suggest that Video Search of Miami follow suit here: put out a collection like this in stores - someone will buy it…Fortune 5 already proved that.
The 20 films included in this set represent several different genres.
DISC 1, SIDE 1, FIRST PRESENTATION:
Shadows In An Empty Room (1976/Directed by Alberto De Martino) - I remember this title being in the horror section of the video store I once managed… I still don’t know why. It’s more of an Italian giallo made in Canada. In case anyone out there has ever asked: “Can I get Stuart Whitman, John Saxon, Martin Landau, Tisa Farrow, fight scenes, car chases by Rémy Julienne, transvestites, multiple murders and funky 70s music in one film?” You bet! To give you an example of how much Fortune 5 shelled out on copyrights, they list the title of this one on the box under it’s Blazing Magnum alias (using the French poster art, nonetheless…used to have that poster). This film is also partly a Dirty Harry wanna-be (and was heavily hyped as such in a lot of markets: it’s original title is A Special Magnum For Tony Saitta).
So, here’s the rundown: Stuart ‘One-Brow’ Whitman plays a cop who chases bad guys around and whose driving would put Lt. Frank Drebin of “Police Squad!” to shame. When his sister dies under mysterious circumstances, everyone becomes a suspect in Stuart’s eyes: from his late sister’s fellow students right down to shady physician Martin Landau, whom she was romantically involved with. Things become even more complicated for Stuart when other people start dying. John Saxon co-stars as another cop who’s on-hand to just look cool (because no one else can quite pull it off he way he does).
While there isn’t much else going on in this film other than the cast, the car chases (Rémy Julienne is a god), and a scene where One-Brow gets in a fight with a group of drag queens, the music is pure gold, alternating from 70s car chase to early synthesizer-disco and strained strings to orchestral maneuvers (in the dark) that sound like alternate cuts of the theme from Atom Age Vampire (a personal favorite…and in my poster collection, I might add).
Enjoy the finale where One-Brow takes out a helicopter with the killer in it from the rooftop of a hospital…never once stopping to consider the fact that there’s a whole city with people, buildings and other nuisances below. Not even Clint Eastwood would’ve done that! From the guy who brought us The Puma Man.
DISC 1, SIDE 1, SECOND PRESENTATION:
Three Men To Kill (1980/Directed by Jacques Deray) - Alain Delon (looking like Tony Curtis’ lovechild with Ray Liotta in this one) comes across an accident site, takes the victim to the hospital and promptly leaves when the orderlies take too long. Had he have bothered to stick around, however, he would’ve learned that what he saw was no accident and that there are two guys with Luke Skywalker hairdos roaming the countryside of France, killing political officials and no he’s in danger, too (if he just hold out until they kill two more men). Car stunts by Rémy Julienne (again!)…and that’s about the only saving grace of this film (even the numerous shots of Dalila De Lazzaro’s perky, petite breasts don’t help any).
Watch Alain make the transition from compulsive gambler to no-nonsense tough guy with little-to-no difficulty acting-wise whatsoever. What a guy. Wait ‘til you hear the villain say “Rest assured, I know how to play with a man who’s holding a good hand.” Funny shit.
Note: this cut contains no opening credits, but you do get Finnish subtitles!
DISC 1, SIDE 2, FIRST PRESENTATION:
Mister Deathman (1977/Directed by Michael D. Moore) - This film makes Dolemite look like an expensive production. Yes, we’ve now moved onto the Blaxploitation genre. Mister Deathman begins with the ending of the film, then jump-cuts to the beginning so fast you’d swear someone just rear-ended you on the freeway (whether this inexplicable abnormality was intentional or the result of hiring a crack-head to serve as editor is beyond me). David Broadnax does his best to star as Geoffrey Graves (nice spy name, actually) in this blatant attempt to cash-in on the Bond franchise. Enjoy the multiple, nearly-endless scenes of people talking. Jeez, Pierce Brosnan’s Bond films were better and more exciting than this!
DISC 1, SIDE 2, SECOND PRESENTATION:
Slavers (1978/Directed by Jürgen Goslar) - Director Goslar directs Trevor Howard, Britt Ekland, Ron Ely, Cameron Mitchell, Ray Milland, and even himself in this sleazy drama set in Eastern Africa. It’s hard to feel the love here, kids: Ray Milland shoots slaves in a pond for sport, Ron “Tarzan” Ely gets tortured, Goslar is carried away by the rapids, and Britt Ekland tries to act (she also gets topless). You might just as well watch Hope Floats… it’s less depressing.
Slavers is slightly letterboxed (although the credits aren’t).
DISC 2, SIDE 1, FIRST PRESENTATION:
Stryker (1983/Directed by Cirio H. Santiago) - I watched this abominable post-apocalyptic atrocity once back in high school. Never again. If I have a poster of this film, I’m burning it.
TV ‘actor’ Steve Sandor and ex-Playboy Playmate Monique St. Pierre (Motel Hell…had the poster!) star. Director Santiago also made Vampire Hookers and dozens of Filipino oddities. Howard R. Cohen wrote the screenplay.
DISC 2, SIDE 1, SECOND PRESENTATION:
The Atlantis Interceptors (1983/Directed by Ruggero Deodato) - Now this is more like it! In one of his final roles, Christopher Connolly plays a smuggler-kind-of-guy who, along with Tony King, get caught up in an unbelievable plot. Scientist George Hilton (the first of many hard-to-fathom elements) accidentally causes the lost continent of Atlantis to resurface (off of Miami): releasing a hoard of marauding, modern-day-yet-strangely-punk-like Atlantis descendants to wreak havoc on the surface world lead by a guy called Crystal Skull (Cornell graduate Bruce Baron). Ivan Rassimov co-stars and Michele Soavi (director of another favorite, Dellamorte Dellamore - yep, have the poster for that, too!) plays a lab technician. Music by Guido and Maurizio De Angelis (as Oliver Onions). Love the theme song. If you’re a fan of Euro Trash, you owe it to yourself to see this one!
DISC 2, SIDE 2, FIRST PRESENTATION:
Carthage In Flames (1960/Directed by Carmine Gallone) - Peplums and hammy performances abound in this Italian/French Sword & Sandal spectacle with an International cast. It’s about the last days of disco, I think. José Suárez plays a hero, Anne Heywood the heroine. Also with Daniel Gélin, Pierre Brasseur and They Call Me Trinity star Terrence Hill. This is one of the few Sword & Sandal films I’ve seen with a black actress (Edith Peters) in a substantial role.
Fortune 5 gives us a somewhat letterboxed print (it’s still cropped: the original version was 2.20:1) which appears to be taken from a British PAL video (it also sounds like it has been re-dubbed). FYI, the Sword & Sandal genre is not part of the Grindhouse era.
DISC 2, SIDE 2, SECOND PRESENTATION:
Coriolanus: Hero Without A Country (1964/Directed by Giorgio Ferroni) - Forget all you know about Ancient Rome. Ignore the various stories of how greed, debauchery, madness, or even a lack a single organized religion may have brought about the demise of the Roman Empire. Here is the one and only movie that dares to depict the true reason behind the fall of an era: grain. Yes, the Romans pioneered such modern-day commodities such as medicine, running water, sewage systems, and incompetent bureaucracy but failed to even conceive of a simple greenhouse (why, had the Romans come up with the bio-dome idea, entire generations could have been saved from the cinematic atrocities of Pauly Shore).
A treacherous Plebian senator-type-of-guy (Alberto Lupo) brings the good citizens of Rome to the state of an uprising because there isn’t enough grain. The late Gordon Scott plays the soldier who bravely defends Rome, is given a ridiculous name, and then winds up being exiled when the Lupo frames him and uses repetitive small words that the simple peasants manage to understand (such as “We will not waver; we will not tire; we will not falter; and we will not fail.”) in order to get them to inadvertently back him up so that Lupo can seize control over Rome. Rosalba Neri gets very little to do.
Watch for the first official battle scene, when Scott’s horse accidentally walks in front of the camera as he clashes swords with an enemy…completely ruining any emotion the scene may have had (and then they repeat the scene from a different angle!).
Again, another slightly letterboxed print (and the most intact out of all the films in this set) taken from a video print (the picture washes out for a minute-and-a-half at one point in the beginning).
DISC 3, SIDE 1, FIRST PRESENTATION:
The Dirty Two (1969/Directed by Tonino Ricci) - Phew! Positively the worst transfer I have ever seen, bar none. Somebody took a muddy, murky and in all-other ways non-crystal-like 2.35:1 scope presentation, cropped it down to 1.33:1 for TV, and then chopped it down even further! If you think that’s bad, throw in some bad panning. It’s amusing, actually: it looks like the movie was photographed by a spider monkey on crack!
Klaus Kinski and George Hilton star in this. Well, that is…I think they do. According to the credits, they do…I couldn’t see very much of anything aside from nostrils and the occasional eyeball. a.k.a. The Liberators.
DISC 3, SIDE 1, SECOND PRESENTATION:
Sinai Commandos: The Story Of The Six Day War (1968/Directed by Raphael Nussbaum) - A low budget wonder inspired by the actual events that occurred in 1967. A group of soldiers are sent to destroy a radar station belonging to the Egyptian Army. The credits state that this film was filmed in Egypt’s Sinai Desert, but they could’ve filmed it in Spain or Death Valley for all I know. The source material for this film is from a low-quality videocassette that looks like it was taken from an even poorer-quality 16mm print. Robert Fuller stars.
DISC 3, SIDE 2, FIRST PRESENTATION:
Renegade (1987/Directed by Enzo Barboni) - A modern quasi-western/comedy from the director and star of They Call Me Trinity (I have a poster for Trinity Is Still My Name). Renegade Luke (Terence Hill) roams the Southwest with his horse Joe in a trailer. When he falls short on cash he sells his smarter-than-average horse, waits for Joe to escape…and off they go again! When Luke’s incarcerated sergeant Moose (Norman Bowler) requests to see him, Luke discovers Moose has made him the legal guardian of his troublesome 14-year-old son Matt (played by Terence’s real life adopted son, Ross Hill). Along the way, Terence and Ross have a run-in with some bikers, befriend a group of Amish- folk and runs afoul with bad guy Robert Vaughn (“The Man From U.N.C.L.E.”). Featuring music by Lynyrd Skynyrd and, of course, the required scene of Terence eating beans. Sadly, this would prove to be Ross’ second and last film: he died in a road accident in early 1990.
DISC 3, SIDE 2, SECOND PRESENTATION:
Highway Racer (1977/Directed by Stelvio Massi) - What the hell? This feature starts with some shot-on-video European racing, cuts to a few seconds of a preview and then the movie starts! Ha, ha…what fantastic, professional work! Maurizio Merli plays a real hotheaded officer who wants some high-octane car training so he can keep up with the bad guys. Giancarlo Sbragia and Lilli Carati co-star in this car-chase-filled poliziottesco story with some terrific stuntwork (which, in case you‘re not tired of hearing his name, were arranged by Rémy Julienne). “Life is like a tube of toothpaste: you have to squeeze hard to get the best out of it.” a.k.a. Convoy Busters. Contains Norwegian subtitles.
DISC 4, SIDE 1, FIRST PRESENTATION:
Deadly Jaws (1974/Directed by Harald Reinl) - Slavers director Jürgen Goslar strikes again as writer and producer of this boring (but nonetheless tolerable) treasure-hunting adventure. The Gods Must Be Crazy star Marius Weyers plays a despicable Frenchman (insert predictable French joke here) who tries to steal a treasure map from some weird Dr. Strangelove looking guy. Ze Germans (who are the good guys for once…most likely due to the fact that Germans made the film) arrive at Strangelove’s just in time to find out where the map is. With his initial plan foiled (curses!), Weyers manages to become the Germans’ deep sea diver trainer and boat-for-hire. They find an old Spanish shipwreck full of gold and some gangsters who want it. Oh, yeah, there are some sharks in it, too, but they only show up during the middle of the film while Weyers is diving. A ‘giant’ octopus also makes an appearance (ah, the many uses of stock footage!).
This is one of the better looking films in this set, probably due to the fact it came from a Japanese source (most likely laserdisc). Japanese subtitles are included.
DISC 4, SIDE 1, SECOND PRESENTATION:
The Shark Hunter (1979/Directed by Enzo G. Castellari) - The great Franco Nero stars (although the portion of the opening credits informing you of that are missing here) in this treasure-hunting action film co-starring Werner Pochath, Jorge Luke, Michael Forest and the lovely Paul Naschy regular, Mirta Miller. Castellari himself shows up as an assassin. Franco wears an awful wig. Music by the De Angelis brothers (again). Contains Dutch subtitles.
I once sold a poster for Castellari’s Great White (aka The Last Jaws) to his son. Nanner.
DISC 4, SIDE 2, FIRST PRESENTATION:
No. 1 Of The Secret Service (1977/Directed by Lindsay Shonteff) - One of many bad, bad, bad James Bond spoofs made by the late Shonteff. The very bland Nicky Henson (“EastEnders”) stars as gun-twirling agent No. 1 (how original). Dudley Sutton (also in “EastEnders”). Richard Todd and Jon Pertwee co-star. Somehow, the filmmakers talked Geoffrey Keen (the Minister of Defense in several Roger Moore-era Bond flicks) into appearing in this (playing virtually the same role). How anyone managed to have a career after this is beyond me: it’s worse than the weakest Carry On… film!. This print bears the UK video title Her Majesty’s Top Gun and features Japanese subtitles.
DISC 4, SIDE 2, SECOND PRESENTATION:
Mission Bloody Mary (1965/Directed by Sergio Grieco) - Ken Clark stars as secret agent Dick Malloy (a role he would play in subsequent 077 films) in this James Bond rip-off. It’s kind of hard to watch this (as much as I love this type of film) as the video playback rate is way too fast in some scene and the non-anamorphic 2.35:1 presentation is scrunched-up to 1.85:1 due to the fact that it was taken from a PAL source (that’s two strikes against this film - you can make it work if you have a DVD player with XY Scaling options). Other than that, it’s a fun film!
DISC 5, SIDE 1, FIRST PRESENTATION:
Fenomenal And The Treasure Of Tutankamen (1968/Directed by Ruggero Deodato) - If you took Diabolik, crossed him with Kriminal and Superargo, used less than a fifth of what the average “Batman” episode must’ve cost, well…you’d probably wind up with something like Fenomenal And The Treasure Of Tutankamen too. The director of Cannibal Holocaust takes us on a silly Swingin’ 60s journey into the world of guys in tight fitting suits that beat up other guys (sounds like a Jerry Springer episode). The ‘plot’ involves the search for a lost tomb (or something like that). Our hero, Fenomenal, shows up during the pre-credit sequence and is not seen from again until an hour later! Mauro Parenti plays Count Guy Norton (alias Fenomenal) and Italian-peplum regular Gordon Mitchell plays a bad guy. Also with Lucretia Love (is that a porn name?) and John Karlsen (both of whom starred with Barbara Steele in The She Beast).
DISC 5, SIDE 1, SECOND PRESENTATION:
3 Supermen Against Godfather (1979/Directed by Italo Martinenghi) - Oh, no…NO! Fortune 5 advertises this film as 3 Supermen, the first in a series of wacky (read: bad) superhero comedies from our friends in Italy. However, as soon as you start the film, you realize you’ve been duped again: instead of the first bad film in the series, we are subjected to one of the very worst in the series…which is saying something!
Still, it‘s better than Spider-Man 3.
This hilariously bad movie stars Turkish ‘superstar’ Cüneyt Arkin (yes, the Man Who Saves the World in Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam, a.k.a. Turkish Star Wars!), Sal Borgese and a lot of nobodies.
As a side note, I would like to point out that any film made in Turkey should be avoided. If you are even half-tempted to watch a Turkish film, think of Billy Hayes. Watching a Turkish film is a lot like what he went through. Really. I own several Turkish films and I’ve never been able to sit through a single one. This is coming from a guy that has a collection of Z-Grade films, turned Robot Monster and Zombie into musicals and who has seen Chuck Norris’ Firewalker more times than he would care to admit.
Anyway, Arkin (who, according to my sources is the only actor in Turkey and other people featured in Turkish films are also him…but in disguise…including the women!) is asked to save the world (well, Southern Europe maybe) and has to resort to calling in his two buddies, the other supermen (“Those two jokey bastards!” he remarks) to assist him. Mobsters and a time machine that looks like a gondola torn off of a New Wave Ferris Wheel add to the mind numbing, IQ-slashing, nightmare inducing, extremely painful fun. Enjoy. The credits are in Italian (as is the awful theme song) and this English language print contain Greek subtitles.
DISC 5, SIDE 2, FIRST PRESENTATION:
Three Avengers (1979/Directed by Wah Kay Kong) - Hey, I had a poster for this film! Bruce Li stars in this sub par kung-fu flick also starring Philip Ko, Bolo Yeung and some gwailo. The IMDb says Bruce Lee wannabes Dragon Lee, Bruce Le, Bruce Lai, Bruce Lea and Bruce Thai are also in the cast but I cannot confirm that with any degree of certainty but I can vouch for the film’s awful fingernails-on-a-chalkboard-like sound. a.k.a. Enter Three Dragons. Released Stateside in ‘81 by World Northal.
DISC 5, SIDE 2, SECOND PRESENTATION:
Master Killers (1980/Directed by Wang Hung Chang) - It’s very difficult to get a lot of credit information on kung-fu films thanks to the fact that many of them were re-titled, re-released, re-edited and often have the wrong credits tacked on to the beginning. Take this film for example: I have no idea what the original name of it is and I‘m fairly certain it‘s available on video under at least three other aliases. Yuen Lung, Philip Ko and Casanova Wong star along with Bolo Yeung (the latter two under aliases or uncredited) in this Drunken Master clone that was bootlegged directly from an old Ocean Shores Video release (it even bears their logo).
Presentations Most of the films are presented in lousy Full Frame transfers taken from old videocassettes with a half-assed Mono Stereo soundtracks (see individual titles for more detailed specs).
Extras Do foreign language subtitles count as extras? No? Then there are no extras. What, twenty poorly transferred, edited-down films aren’t enough for you?
The Bottom Line Fortune 5: for those that just can’t make Fortune 500. I’d like to see some legit releases of some of these films, and even though I may never see that day I will wait nonetheless since the overall quality found here really blows!
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