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 Springsteen, Madonna
Way before Nirvana
There was U2, and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids, in high school
They tell her that she's uncool
But she's still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985
Woo-hoo-hoo
The above lyrics belong to a song that has since joined the pantheon of “Fluff Songs That Get Played Too Damned Much On the Radio.” It’s catchy in the way that you feel awful for even hearing it the first time and the lyrics both make you roll your eyes in disgust but provide at least one smirk, though you would never admit it to anyone you know that has taste. It’s a calculated grab at the pop song ring that relies on tried and true hooks as well as the wave of Eighties nostalgia/style. After it’s all over you know that you don’t like it, you wish you didn’t hear it in the first place, but yet you still understand why other people might be drawn to it.
That brings me nicely to Napoleon Dynamite.
Napoleon Dynamite is a movie in much the same way that Bowling for Soup ditty is a song. As many of you know by now, there are two camps: "Those That Dig Napoleon Dynamite" and "Those That Do Not Dig Napoleon Dynamite". As an objective individual, I will not come outright and say in which camp I pitch my tent, but instead I will attempt to tell you why "Those That Dig Napoleon Dynamite" are 100% FUCKING WRONG. I prefer to remain cryptic that way. Adds to the mystery.
Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder) is a mouth-breathing high school outcast who doesn’t seem to be too shaken up about being one. At home you would find his steak-lovin’ grandma, his 32 year-old chat room obsessed brother (Aaron Ruell) and a pet alpaca. At school, you would see him playing tetherball by himself and talking in monotone to his new friend Pedro (Efren Ramirez). His life changes for the same when grandma gets injured riding the dunes so his Uncle Rico (Jon Gries) moves in to take care of them, he finds that he and Pedro have designs on the same girl (Tina Majorino), and various other plot elements that serve less to move the film anywhere and  more to provide a “humorous” situation for that moment. It doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t.
Director/writer Jared Hess obviously has a raging one for hipster directors such as Wes Anderson, for you can see the forced attempts at quirk all over this movie. In Anderson’s films you might have a difficult time remembering in what time period the story takes place due to his penchant for 60’s British Invasion flavor but there is an honesty to it all. Napoleon Dynamite with all of its 80’s-ness doesn’t have an honest bone in its gangly little body. From the concept of economy in storytelling to the symmetrical shots that proliferate the screen, it’s all very Wes-esque, but without the heart. What also really hurts this film is Hess’s love for deadpan humor and the fact that his actors don’t really seem to understand it. Heder as Napoleon is the only actor who seems to get it and he is the only person in the whole movie that seems to have created a fully realized character, albeit an annoying one. Everyone else just seems to be of the mind that as long as you talk really, really bored, with no inflection in your voice, that you have mastered the art of deadpan. Any scene with Napoleon and Pedro is EXCRUCIATING due to this and any scene with Napoleon, Pedro and love interest Deb is even moreso.
Of course, no matter what I say this movie will continue to be embraced on college campuses across the US, quotes will be flying left and right like spitballs and another mediocre movie will get much more attention then it deserves. So perhaps I should just give in and join the other “cool kids.” As Napoleon would say “Maybe I will. GOSH.”
How Does It Look, Smartguy?
This film is presented on a flipper disc with the full screen version on one side and an anamorphic widescreen version on the other. Both are fairly clean transfers the same of care one should expect for a movie that was in the theatres within a year of its DVD release. Minimal artifacting and no haloing that I detected, but the blacks certainly could have been blacker. I did notice that every once in a while some shots were blurrier than others and I have a feeling that is due more to the transfer itself than the director forgetting to focus the camera. I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, in that case. All in all, above average.
How's It Sound, Ya Bum?
You get an English 5.1 Dolby and a Spanish 2.0 surround. This is not the most active movie, sound wise, so most of the action is up front anyway, but it’s a perfectly fine audio track that is just as good as any recent release.
You Think I Just Wanted The Movie, Pal?
There is a COMMENTARY TRACK by director/writer Hess, producer Jeremy Coon and Napoleon himself, Heder. The track is a mess. Laid back is one thing, but these guys are positively laconic. Don’t do it.
A making-of FEATURETTE entitled The Wedding of the Century concerns a scene that appears at the end of the credits. I didn’t stick around to see it finished so why would I watch the “making of” bit, huh?
A ten minute SHORT called Peluca is also included. This is the embryonic form of Napoleon Dynamite and it even stars Heder as a fella who is not too dissimilar to the title character of this very film. It’s all just as annoying, only shorter. If you haven’t had your fill yet, there are some MTV spots and a TRAILER to finish you off.
Bring Us On Home, Brother
This is the new “hip” movie for people who think they know what “hip” is, but it’s actually just a poorly constructed deadpan comedy that hides its shortcomings by peddling the oh so trendy 80’s style. If you’re intelligent you will see right through this and not join the masses of individuals who I am sure are already plastering their dorm with oversized Napoleon Dynamite posters.
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