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For those of you who remember, I once tried to review the Fourth (Fifth) Season of Walker, Texas Ranger with disastrous results. I hated it. I hated every single contrived minute of it. It was awful. Well, since then, I decided that I was too harsh on the long-running television series starring Chuck Norris and so, I let my guard down and give Walker, Texas Ranger another try.
I have since changed my opinion of the series. It was, by no means, the dumbest show ever produced for small-minded god-fearing white folks… but rather one of the funniest sitcoms ever written.
There’s simply no alternative to this theory of mine, kids: Walker, Texas Ranger is a comedy, tried and true. Witness, well, any episode and you’re sure to get a great big heapin’ spoonful of corn! From Chuck Norris’ inability to successfully mimic an actual emotion, and down to the godlike manner in which the Conservative martial arts er--“actor” is portrayed (no wait, it wouldn’t be “godlike” with Chuck Norris, would it? It would be God is Chuck Norris-like… or something like that), Walker, Texas Ranger is some truly funny shit.
 Go ahead: pop a disc in. Pop a disc from any season set into your DVD player and just wait for an episode (any episode) to being. Then, try to prevent your beverage from coming out of your nose. It’s just not possible. Unless you live in the Bible Belt of the United States. Or Canada. And some parts of Australia. For some reason, those folk really seem to think Walker, Texas Ranger is bona fide “serious” television programming. They’re wrong, of course.
You know what else is wrong? The way Walker, Texas Ranger depicts Satanists, that’s what’s wrong! Take, for example, the hilariously awful Hallowe’en episode included in this Sixth (Seventh) Season set, entitled “The Children Of Halloween” (complete with spooky font type), wherein a group of innocent god-fearing Texan Christian kids are kidnapped by (gasp!) DEVIL WORSHIPPERS who intend to (gasp again!) SACRIFICE THEM TO THEIR DARK LORD, SATAN! Oh, the humanity!
 Now, I’m an atheist, you see… so, naturally, I find the belief of belief itself to be absolutely abhorred and absurd. Needless to say, “The Children Of Halloween” is one of the funniest things I have ever seen -- even for a Chuck Norris piece. Watching bad TV actors dressed up in Goth make-up and preparing to murder human beings in the name of Satan is gut-wrenchingly funny (FYI, Christians: Satanists don’t perform sacrifices). It’s also sad at the same time, and it’s blatantly easy to see why poor souls like Damien Wayne Echols have been sentenced to death for listening to Metallica and wearing black clothing: because stupid people write stupid shit like this that the stupid people at home are stupid enough to believe!
Did I mention it’s stupid?
But, it’s also funny.
Damn funny.
Wet-you-pants funny.
Oh-my-God-this-is-the-funniest-thing-since-Step Brothers-funny.
Ha ha.
 Presentation
Walker, Texas Ranger: The Sixth Season comes to DVD courtesy of CBS/Paramount, who should still be ashamed of themselves for combining Seasons One and Two into one DVD set (owing to the fact that Season One was a short one) and erroneously labeling them as “The First Season” a few years back (and confusing a lot of people in the process)… hence, I refer to it as Walker, Texas Ranger: The Sixth (Seventh) Season. (and to think they had no qualms whatsoever with packaging Nash Bridges: Season One separately… and it was a short season, too!). The 5-Disc Set features all 23 Episodes of the Seventh (er, Sixth!) Season in glorious Low Definition.
It’s hard to believe that the video quality could get any worse than the last set released, but, sure enough, it has. The transfer of Walker, Texas Ranger: The Sixth (Seventh) Season is about as bad as the show itself, with an incredibly grainy 1.33:1 presentation. Yes, I realize that this show was made during a period before TV went High Def, but even the seasons before this one looked better.
 CBS/Paramount must’ve really been on the cheap for this set: the Spanish Audio and Subtitle tracks that were included on the last Season Set I looked at were decidedly absent on this one. Actually, Subtitles in general were absent with this release, and, in their place, the viewer gets the option of switching on those damned Closed Captions should they actually want to hear any of the ridiculous dialogue.
Back to soundtracks, the one and only audio option we do get with Season Six (Seven) is English Stereo Surround. To be honest, I didn’t really notice it, as I was too busy laughing.
Ha ha.
Extras
Like previous Season Sets, the first disc contains some bumper/promo/previews for other TV shows on DVD from CBS/Paramount. Yay.
The Bottom Line
Yes, Walker, Texas Ranger sucks… but it IS some really funny shit!
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