Real rock and roll has always been the music of the rebellious. As such, it has attracted artists who live their lives creatively and literally on the edge.  For every "down to Earth" rock star like Dave Grohl, there are easily four more who would rather refer to themselves as "The Artist" and who want pink toilet paper in the hotel bathroom, not because they can get away with asking for it but because they really believe it is partially responsible for the proper flow of their creative juices.

Now, making outlandish demands and telling people to lower their eyes when talking to you does not necessarily make you "batshit insane".  That's a title that is actually kind of hard to come by.  It's what sets apart the eccentric artist from the dangerous, "don't leave him alone with live animals" artist.  When I say someone is batshit insane, I don't mean they refuse to put an album out because they have self-confidence issues (Axl... I'm looking at you).  I mean there's a distinct possibility that if the soundcheck doesn't go right, they could literally take a hostage.

I love batshit insane people who play music. I don't like actually being in bands with them, mind you. They're really fucking annoying to deal with on that level, but watching them from the sidelines is never less than entertaining. You go to any concert featuring a "batshit insane" band member and while you'll probably hear a less than stellar performance, there's always the chance of a pubic hair fire and ranting about grasshoppers. Or, in my own experience, you may walk up to the front of the club a little early to find the batshit insane member curled up on the ground in front of the door, soaking in his own urine and asking you for a "cigarette to chew" (which he promptly did when I gave him one).  He later walked up to my date and talked with her lucidly and eloquently for 10 solid minutes about plays by Ibsen all the while smelling like piss and alcohol.

The band was Smoke. The singer was Benjamin. I'm pretty sure he's dead now, but damn if he wasn't fun to watch on stage.

What follows is a list of five artists who definitely qualify as "batshit insane". There are plenty of people I could have put on here but left off for one reason or another. You may not agree with my picks and if so, please feel free to let me know who you think I missed.

1.  Lee "Scratch" Perry - Really, there is absolutely no denying that this man leads the pack of the batshit insane. He's a total and complete lunatic who also happens to be a production genius and a pioneer musically. Perry once burned his own legendary Black Ark studio to the ground because he thought it was possessed by Satan himself. Think about that.  He found gasoline and matches and burned the invading spirits out of his studio. Still don't think he qualifies? What about the time, while staying in the US with a prominent record producer, he rounded up all the televisions in the house and proceeded to bury them in the back yard?  How about the times he baptized people on the street outside his studio with a garden hose?

That, folks, is what I mean by "batshit insane". Supposedly, he's in a much more stable frame of mind now (he's in his 70s and lives in Switzerland). Even so, he's got quite an awesome track record of antics but they never really outshined his awesome contribution to music. Check out any of his full albums from the 1970s. My favorite is Super Ape.

2.  Mayhem - Yeah, pretty much the entire fucking band belongs on this list. At least their original lineup does. Mayhem were really the first band to bring Norwegian Black Metal to a wide audience and part of the reason their reputation spread was because they were such complete lunatics. All the members were obsessed with being the most evil band on the planet. In true "evil" fashion they turned on one another. The first victim was lead singer, Dead, who decided this world was too much for him. He shot himself in the head and when guitarist Euronymous found him, he didn't call the police. No, instead he took some pictures, picked up some pieces of Dead's skull and ate a small piece of Dead's brain. He brought the skull pieces back to the band's drummer, Hellhammer (no, I'm not making these names up), who fashioned some jewelry out of them and wears them still. That's not all though. Because of the brain eating thing, Euronymous got quite the reputation as a bad ass, so in a fit of jealousy ("I want to be most evil!") bass player Count Grishnackh stabbed him over 20 times. In fact, Grishnackh later testified that he stabbed Euronymous so many times because he wanted to be known for outdoing another Black Metaller who was on trial for stabbing a complete stranger repeatedly.

All of this and much, much more can be found in a great book called Lords of Chaos:  The Bloody Rise of the Satanic Metal Underground by Michael Moynihan and Didrik Soderlind. As for music, point your sights to De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas. Try not to kill anybody finding it.

3. Jaz Coleman - This guy is one of my favorites. The lead singer/leader of Killing Joke, Jaz Coleman is one crazy son of a bitch. He's one of these guys that is super smart, but is also subject to flights of weirdness and odd belief that will make your head spin. He moved to Iceland in the early 1980s to await the end of the world. It didn't come but he worked with the band that would eventually become the Sugarcubes so he's got that going for him. Still, moving to another country to await the apocalypse wouldn't seem so weird in itself, except that he was kind enough to leave us a full length album where he detailed his beliefs in black magic and why he thought the world would end soon. That was nice of him wasn't it? It's a full length Killing Joke album called The Courtald Talks. It was recorded after his return and it consists of one continuous track where Coleman talks about demonology, the imminent return of The Elder Gods and why he thinks H.P. Lovecraft wasn't writing fiction but was channeling a voice from beyond. During his talk, he's backed by Killing Joke, although the music is very low key and mostly consists of soft guitar and percussion. There's a really incredible part where he talks about how by using musical chords constructed from numerological studies we can help drive back the demons we're unintentionally awaking through war and violence. He demonstrates... 'nuff said.

Actually, if you have an e-music subscription, this is available as one download which will cost you less than a buck. Otherwise, you'll have to find it elsewhere. Either way, it's pretty entertaining listening. For the record, in the last four years Killing Joke has released two fantastic new albums in a row and Coleman still believes Cthulu is coming any minute. I'm sure he's praying to be eaten first.

4.  G.G. Allin - This guy was a given for this list. Did you know his actual given name was Jesus Christ? See... crazy runs in the family. Allin made a name for himself by shocking audiences and critics. His act was banned from many a town across this great land of ours and each time he played, the word got out to a few more people who suddenly craved an opportunity to see him. Allin would take the stage in a jockstrap and proceed to pee on audience members, shit in his hand and throw it, have sex on stage and once even tried (unsuccessfully) to fuck a dead cat while performing. He was a penpal of John Wayne Gacy. He did the talk show circuit and once told Sally Jesse Raphael that he was the father of the girl who was accompanying him and that he liked her to call him "Dad" when they were having sex. I saw this episode and thought it was absolutely hilarious.

He also famously said that his bodily fluids were how he "communed" with his audience. He stuck the microphone up his ass onstage during many occasions. Needless to say, Allin was bent on shocking people. That much is obvious, but the fact that he lived exactly like he performed qualifies him for true "batshit insane" status. This was not an act. He really was one of the most disturbed and disgusting performers in the history of rock and roll. Allin died of a drug overdose and was buried in New Hampshire, wearing a jockstrap that said "Eat Me".

If you want to experience G.G. Allin, then don't look to CDs. Get the documentary Hated on DVD and you'll get a great look at what this guy was like. As for music, stick with the compilation Expose Yourself:  The Singles Collection 1977 - 1991. You'll get the idea, a good sampling of the man's work and you won't have to wade through the bullshit of his regular releases.

5.  Captain Beefheart - Now the great thing about Captain Beefheart is that he's not violent crazy like many of the people mentioned above. No, he's old-fashioned, out-of-his-gourd, eccentric to the nth level crazy... which qualifies him for batshit insane status. Case in point, while rehearsing for his famous Trout Mask Replica album (of which I have a near mint condition vinyl copy... just sayin'...), he surrounded himself with an accomplished band and literally locked them into a house for eight months. During that time, no one was allowed to leave. Food was brought in weekly. Beefheart would try to communicate the songs he was hearing via humming or piano. Here's the batshit insane part. He couldn't play piano and when the musicians couldn't properly interpret his vision, he would explode in fits of rage.

He was very strict about his musical vision, to the point of being a tyrant. The results though were never less than interesting and many times they were pure genius. He also made it a point to confuse the press and public as much as possible, once telling Rolling Stone that he himself taught two of the musicians on Trout Mask Replica how to play their instruments "from scratch". In fact, they were both more than fluent on their instruments when he hired them.

Beefheart is a hands down musical genius, crazy or not, but it's my opinion that the batshit insanity feeds the genius in his case.

There are loads more that I could list and most of them get their "crazy" from drugs or alcohol. These five seem to come by theirs naturally, so that's why I list them like I do. Do you think I missed someone?