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Memorial Day Weekend is here, and with it the start of the summer blockbuster season. Big movies. Big crowds. And highly over inflated expectations. This summer it is (once again), sequel, sequel, sequel, with superheroes and pirates taking center stage in the race for your theater going dollar. Which blockbusters will sink, destined to be remembered as flops? Which presumed mega-hits will live up to the hype and expectations, swimming to memorable summer classic status? The  staff weighs in on what big hits they think will make the cut and which films will get the axe from viewers.
X-Men: The Last Stand – May 26
X-Men: The Last Stand hits theaters TODAY, and with big expectations. The third in a comic book mutant trilogy, director Brett Ratner takes over where Bryan Singer left off, taking on a big cast, big special effects and an even bigger fanbase waiting to see if he’ll pull off a winner or fall flat on his face. So what do we think?
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Stupid director, stupid first two movies, stupid name for a movie. Outcome = $300 million in its first minute of release. Swim!
-- Chris Knight
While fans of the previous films (and cinema in general) are crying foul over Brett Ratner's direction, this movie will be making a lot of money from people who don't know who the hell the guy is. These people did not see Money Talks. Swim!
-- John Felix
The third film in a trilogy always has a tough go with critics and audiences. This one looks like it might be the exception to the rule. Swim!
-- Larry Phillips
Without Singer this thing has the potential to move away from a made-for-TV format & really say something beyond that superhero flicks are all about the pose. Swim!
-- lostwire
Brett Ratner can suck my dick. Float.
-- Marq
Looks cheaply made and badly acted. Dark Phoenix looks like Stevie Nicks dressed her. And Fraiser is the Beast? What, just because he can sound like a blueblood? Fuck that. Sink.
-- Comedian
VERDICT: Swim!
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Cars – June 9
Has Pixar ever not had a winner? Everyone has their favorites, and that movie with the filthy disease-ridden insects doesn’t often make favorites lists, but one would be hard-pressed to suggest they’ve ever had a ]dud. But … but some are wondering if Cars might turn out to be that first dud. Does this car have airbags, or is it fish food?
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No one old enough to drive will want to see this. Sink!
-- Shawn McLoughlin
A kid's movie by a company that has yet to fail? Redneck comedians to sell the NASCAR set? The pleasure of Owen Wilson without all that nose? Winner. Swim!
-- John Felix
Pixar movies have a perfect track record for the simple reason that they are so goddamn good. Cars is gonna keep that streak alive... and give Larry The Cable Guy an income for the rest of his white trash life. Chew on that for a minute. Swim!
-- Larry Phillips
Swim, if they use either the eponymous Gary Numan 1979 hit or anything sung by Ric Ocasek. Regardless, it'll be on rotation at my fucking house as soon as it's on DVD. Swim!
-- Comedian
I guess I like Pixar stuff, but The Incredibles was a bore and I hate NASCAR, car racing in general and anything about the inner workings of cars. Now the cars have personalities. Might as well be a movie about marmalade to me. But … Swim!
-- Marq
Pixar = Brilliant. Inevitable fanboy backlash, because it's not as mature as The Incredibles. Outcome - $800 million in its first second of release. Swim!
-- Chris Knight
As much as I've appreciated Pixar's stuff up until this point, this reminds me of the worst Sid & Marty Krofft outing imaginable, or, at the very least, some bland cartoon churned out in the forties which is now bundled on some disc down at the local supermarket. Sink!
-- lostwire
VERDICT: Swim!
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The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift – June 16
What are you supposed to say or think about the Fast And The Furious series? How did it even manage to become the hit it is? Sexy looking cars (read: stupidity on the road) and sexy looking people (read: brainless fucks who can’t act) do sexy stuff (read: meander through pointless, plotless nonsense). But maybe we’re being too judgmental here. So does the third installment in this rotten piece of shit float on top of the bowl or sink to the bottom, clogging up the plumbing?
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Jesus Christ, they made another one of these? I'm still waiting for Torque 2. Sink!
-- John Felix
Pure garbage. It will do zero box office. It will make its money where it belonged; straight to video. Sink!
-- Larry Phillips
This film should do as well as the latest X-Men. Americans love fast wrenched cars & if they're more exciting than the acting this should be one helluva hit. Though I certainly won't be heading down to the theater to see it, I'll certainly pick it up when it debuts on the PS3. Swim!
-- lostwire
Tokyo has lots of pretty city lights and awesomely crowded streets, but I'll watch Lost in Translation instead, for a better representation of the culture. Sink!
-- Marq
Why does this shit keep getting greenlit? Who's even in this clunker? The Lawnmower Man 2 of Summer 2006. Sink!
-- Comedian
If you pay to see this movie, I hope the theater burns down. With you in it. Sink!
-- Eric San Juan
VERDICT: Sink!
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Superman Returns – June 30
Take one of the most beloved superheroes of all time and try to update one of the most beloved movies of the last 30 years based on said superhero? A character played by an actor who went on to have a tragically uplifting life that inspired millions? Bryan Singer may have been insane to drop the wildly successful X-Men franchise for this bold return to Superman. Will it work or blow up in his face?
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The most important superhero of all time will make for the most important superhero movie ever. Swim!
-- Shawn McLoughlin
I have yet to see a Superman movie, television show, radio broadcast, comic book, teleplay, book-on-tape, morse code transcript, or Broadway musical. I didn't even wear the Superman underwear as a child. Please do not beat me (too savagely). No opinion.
-- John Felix
Good or bad, this film will make money and lots of it... for a long time to come. Swim!
-- Larry Phillips
Bryan Singer has made some decent X-Men films but have you ever heard him talk? What an ass. It's spelled Brian you gaylord! As much as I'd like to see a decent Superman flick, nothing would please me more than to see this clueless self-centered rich-bitch hunched over in a bar somewhere mumbling about how hard Hollywood stuck it up his ass. Sink!
-- lostwire
I'll be watching for Kate Bosworth and staying for... Brando? I've always been a Marvel man and just can't yet get excited for this. And Singer's movies always look so dull. But Bosworth has me paying to see those multicoloured eyes. Swim!
-- Marq
Boring director, boring first two movies, boring actor plays villain. Outcome = $300 million in its first minute of release. Swim!
-- Chris Knight
Swim, like an Australian on steroids. Gonna be a big hit. Good enough to satisfy comic nerds and engage the common movie-goer. Swim! Big!
-- Comedian
VERDICT: Swim!
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