A Fan's Journey Into Horror
by Trevor Griffiths
October 2005

The horror genre. It pulls in the freaks. The outcasts. The outsiders. Those who won’t be pushed and pulled by the whims of popular opinion. It’s not all about severed heads and slasher flicks. Despite what you may think, horror fans are not fans of the genre because they like blood and gore (though that’s part of it). Far from it. Their attachment to this very special subset of film fandom is an integral part of who horror fans are and how they see the world. Journey into horror fandom with unapologetic fan Trevor Griffiths, as he pulls you into his world in this exclusive series, A Fan’s Journey Into Horror.

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Bad Movie Night
October 2008 - ongoing

Welcome to ’ Bad Movie Night – where we pit a collection of less-than-interesting films against each other in order to blaze through a pile of screeners that are so unremarkable, they sit at the bottom of our dresser drawers for months on end.

The rules are simple: we marathon as many torturously dull films in a single day and then, when the drugs have worn off, we force ourselves to write as much as possible. Simply put, a lot of these films don’t justify our typical full thousand-word review. Enter Bad Movie Night.

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Diary Of An Aspiring Film Snob
by Eric San Juan
June-August 2005

Is it possible to transform yourself from a casual movie fan to a living, breathing, true-to-life film snob? Eric San Juan was determined to find out, chronicling his experiences with cinema in Diary Of An Aspiring Film Snob. He had never been a very good film snob. Not by any means. Star Wars was the height of cinema. Black and white was a death sentence for a film. And if a movie lacked explosions? It was out of the question to even bother with it. But then something happened. Something that changed the way he looked at film. Thus was set his course towards film snobbery. Diary Of An Aspiring Film Snob tells the tale.

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The Work of Milla Jovovich:
An Introduction
by Shawn McLoughlin

Oh, how we love her. We love her, love her, love her. Also, we think she’s kinda spiffy. She, of course, is Milla Jovovich, the most gorgeous and smart and talented and sexy and totally kick-ass woman on the entire planet. We love her so much she is the focus of her own series of reviews by Milla Adoration Society president Shawn McLoughlin. Because if you think we love Milla, you ought to listen to Shawn gush about her. (Or maybe you shouldn’t.) From the smash hits to the obscure, in The Work Of Milla Jovovich Shawn will review it all. With one hand.

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The Pigeons Have Flown The Coup
by Hardcore Legend
September 2005

Did you ever wonder what owning and operating an independent movie theater was really all about? We sure did. That’s why we tapped the talent and insight of “Hardcore Legend” to give our readers a look into a little known side of the film business. Namely, running your own theater, Hardcore, writing under a pseudonym to protect his anonymity and business – when you see how he skewers Disney’s business practices you’ll understand why this is important – takes us inside the numbers, inside the box office, and inside the decisions that keep an independent movie theater afloat. How much does it really cost for a theater owner to bring The Chronicles Of Narnia to you? What happens when an expected success ends up flopping? And why the hell is popcorn ten bucks!? Hardcore Legend offers his insight in this periodic series.

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“I Swear I’ve Seen This Before!”
by Eric San Juan
September 2005

Remakes. A new artistic vision for old favorites, or the raping and pillaging of once classic films? The truth lies somewhere in the middle. But love them or hate them, remakes are inevitable. Hollywood, as Fark.com is so fond of saying, is out of ideas. Don’t expect anything new from the suits who have their hands on the money. Your favorite film may have already been remade. And if it hasn’t been, it may well be one day. Some remakes are pure gems that stand strong on their own; others are pale imitations of the original. That’s what the I Swear I’ve Seen This Before series is all about. Taking a look at remakes and seeing how they stack up against the original. What works. What doesn’t. What’s worth watching. What isn’t. But most of all, it gives us an excuse to engage in mental masturbation. And after all, who doesn’t like masturbation?

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